Happy day for Tesla

The world has been going through financial worries for almost 2 years now. In the recent past, almost as many as 35 companies either postponed or cancelled their IPOs for the fear of not finding enough investors. But being so different from the rest of Wall Street is what gives Tesla Motors Inc. it's poise to be the first American automobile company to raise an IPO after 54 years.

True story.

The previous company to do it was Ford Motors in 1956.

That's a big name to draw parallels with. On top of that, Tesla has never ever booked a profit. Whereas Ford has been a standard for the industry for a century.

About Tesla

Evidently, the company borrows it's name from the great scientist - arguably the inventor of electricity - Nikola Tesla. It does so for a very good reason. Many companies have been attempting at providing carbon free cars with Toyota's Prius leading the path. Different engineers have reached different options - hydrogen, ethanol, electricity, etc. One guy called Stan Meyer even developed a car that works on water! Truly amazing engineers. However, Tesla is the only company till date to have successfully created a road-worthy car and it works purely on electricity. It has no exhaust pipe. The car is as silent as a snail but swift as a rattle snake. It's not worth picturing a Maini Reva when I say electric car. Tesla Roadster (picture given) is way ahead of that.

• Power - 288 horse power
• Torque - All the power is available at almost all levels with a few variations. From 0 to 14000 rpm. 
• Acceleration - 0 to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds. (Who would believe that of a non-petrol engine?)
• Top Speed - 125 mph (Electronically limited - which I assume is a polite way of saying, "the engine is capable of much more, but your State Traffic Law wont permit anyway!")
• Battery Life - 7 years or 100,000 miles
• Price - Base model $ 101,500/-   Sport Model $ 120,000/-

Ford was led by men of iconic stature. The brain child of Henry Ford and was later headed by Lee Iacocca. He was later fired from Ford. Lee Iacocca then presided over the Chrylser board and made the company a fierce competition for Ford itself. The story of Tesla is similar.

Tesla's is based in Palo Alto, California (the universe where ideas form the ether and college drop-outs become the stars) and although founded by Martin Eberhard & Elon Musk together, it is currently headed by Elon as the CEO.

Elon Musk is the same guy who founded X.Com which later became PayPal Inc. and is now a part of eBay.

Martin and Elon had a fall out and eventually Martin had to quit. Martin even filed a suit against Elon alleging that he was virtually made to leave. Supposedly, one of the clauses of the suit contains that Elon didn't let Martin have the first Roadster that rolled out of the factories.

The founders have not been the only people excited about driving a complete car that doesn't pollute. Media friendly celebs like Brad Pitt and George Clooney drive Roadsters. (Guess the Ocean's Eleven couldn't steal any gas.)

The car is a masterpiece. However, one can't help but notice that the car is never noticed! The price one pays for the car is definitely one major parameter in this regard. Not many can afford a $ 100,000 car. Even if they can, there are better options! The emission front doesn't persuade enough to indulge in an expensive car like the Roadster.

The company has recently launched another vehicle with the name Model S. Deliveries may begin in 2012 and the car currently can be booked for approximately $ 50,000/-.

What remains to be seen is whether the Model S can be our generation's Ford T ?

Monsoon Sings

Everybody loves music. Yet, most of us are not so selective about our playlists. We just let any song shuffle itself to the foreground.

Here are a few songs that I haven't heard in a long while. Good songs!

(I have chosen to keep only Hindi songs in this list. For whatever you say, they make you feel more earthy.) 

• Sab Bhula Kay - Call (Jilawatan)
• Ab Kay Saawan - Shubha Mudgal
• Duur - Strings (Try the Reprise version. Check out Faizal's - the lead vocalist- son at the beginning. )
• Bulla Ki Jaaana - Rabbi Shergill
• Shaam Tanha - Agnee
• Mast Kalandar - Abida Parveen
• Dhoom Pichuk Dhoom - Euphoria
• Sabse Peeche Hum Khade - Silk Route
• ....and if you have time for one more song, Sutta - Zeest!

Monsoon works

It's raining outside. I am stuck in the midst of a crowd of ambitious, well-dressed, high-class diplomatic, orthodox and egoistic people. In short, I am sitting in an office. No offense! I just don't like working the conventional way.  
All I am saying is I wish I could call for a sick leave and get out of here.
Sit at home, look at the rains through my window-pane!

But when you work in the capital markets, getting a leave is as difficult as scratching your groin wearing a scuba diving suit. Sitting in an air conditioned office, using little bottles of sanitizers doesn't leave much scope for the rain bacteria to affect you. So here is a way you can get some awesome cold, ravishing fever and a few breath-taking sneezes:-

1. Firstly get out of your formals. 
2. Next go out without an umbrella. Get soaked. Don't care about your cell-phone. Why do we need one anyway?
3. Then, gather all your friends for a game a of street soccer.
4. As you are on it, slide! Slide in the mud. Even when the ball is not around you. Just slide! It's fun. You must have atleast 13 bruises when you return.
5. After you are totally drenched and dirty, your shoes (that were initially white) are now brown, your shorts have torn at certain compromising areas, it is now time to go hog VADA-PAV. Don't bother with the hygiene. Vada pavs are extremely healthy. Trust me!

For whom the paper rolls!

Very soon, a time will come when nobody will prefer hard cover books. If Google, Scribd, Amazon (and the biggest evil of all - Adobe) keep publicizing e-books (and eating the pie out of the poor author's mouth), it won't be long before paper-back books will be a thing of the past.
With books out of the question, there will be no real use of paper left in this world. Except for one!
"Bathroom Tissue" (read: ass wiping paper).
As a proud Indian, you may never have thought about this, but Toilet Paper manufacturing is a major business. Amidst all the Eurozone debt-crisis, what eased the tension a little were the import figures of toilet paper!
An average American uses over 100 rolls every year. (They definitely like their shit!) The cost of maintaining delicate American buttocks is more than the cost of driving a Hummer. The thing is - Americans don't settle for the bathroom tissue made out of re-cycled paper. They need softer tissues which have to be made by chopping down trees. Each year 27,000 trees are required to suffice this need of white human backyard.
I don't have anything against Americans alone. There are others involved too. China manufactures (yes, China doesn't leave even this!) and exports the tissues to Americans and the rest of the world.
The question is whether the world will ever be willing to move on from this idea and adopt other techniques for personal hygiene. The famous singer Sheryl Crow recently voiced her opinion saying that one should use CLOTH instead of paper tissues. (for - you know what!) Of course, what other use do we have of clothes anyway! Ask her to use silk and then we'll talk.
There are a few who have adopted this and are quite happy with the results. One such dedicated cloth user April Horton says - "Using cloth toilet paper is not only an economical choice but once you try it I swear you'll never go back!" 
I bet she used Satin!
However, one can safely say that America has single-buttockly distorted the hygiene choices people make. I sincerely hope, very soon, we Indians make a mark in this field and show the world the way to the farms. If nothing else, the dampen way of hygiene will put the melting north-pole to some clean use.

P.S. - With reference to the previous post - This is Chuck Norris' toilet paper.

Cowboy from Hell ...

Carlos Ray a.k.a. Chuck Norris is an American Martial Artist and Actor. 

But more importantly he is the man!

Here are some facts about Chuck Norris - 

1. Since 1940, when Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick deaths have increased by 13000 percent.

2. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. 

3. Chuck Norris doesn't need to celebrate his birthday. Because he was born between Sunday and Monday.

4. Chuck Norris once went sky diving. He promised he would never do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough

5. A hide tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is God pissing in his pants. 

Now for some of Chuck Norris' abilities - 

1. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. 

2. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But  nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

3. Chuck Norris doesn't day dream. He is too busy giving people nightmares. 

4. Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

Secrets about Chuck Norris -

1. The first rule about Chuck Norris is - You don't talk about Chuck Norris.

2.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. 

JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

3.  Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

To find out more about Chuck Norris, just type "GOOGLE CHUCK NORRIS" in the Google search box.

Tip of the day - Punch me!

Most of us are taught for years that anger is not good. It is not right to vent out your frustration on someone else. (unless you are living in a cave and feel like landing your plane in the buildings of USA).

Now, the basic idea behind 'anger management' is to teach a person to control his temper. Not to get angry when a mosquito is buzzing around your ear. Zooooo-zoooooo! I mean the mosquito's noise..not the Vodafone ad!

But I don't really believe it works that way. So what else can you do to get rid of your anger. I say PUNCH SOMEONE!

I mean, think about it! How liberating would it feel to punch someone right in the face every time you are angry! Awesome, right? Someone makes fun of you in front of the guy/girl you are trying to hit on - Dishum. You get KT's in all subjects - Dishum.You have just graduated and are sitting at home watching football and your mom sends you to buy vegetables for her - Dishum. Actually, here the punch would be on your face if you still sit there watching the game. Nevertheless, the point is, it is good to have somebody to punch!
So all you gentle and subtle people may gladly punch me as and when you feel angry and I would return the favor more often than not. A more convenient option - find yourselves a punch mate.
I myself am looking for one.

Wanted a beautiful fat, red, fluffy nose 

for a giant wrist with long fingers.

Caste no bar. Divorced, no issues.

If anybody interested, please write back.

Nissan Micra

Seriously, what is with the hype surrounding the upcoming Nissan Micra? Why are all auto journos recommending this particular car in the midst of so many acclaimed small segment vehicles already available? And why are people actually postponing buying their first car only for a car which still has 1 month to open bookings? There definitely have to be more than one reasons.
Of course, to begin with, even though Nissan may not be a household name in India, the quality of product is an undebatable issue - Nissan is from Japan!!!
The car definitely has it unnatural charms. No doubt about that! The eyes bulge out, the roofline slants just at the right angle and not one part looks as if inspired from something else. Except the Mini Cooperish rear. (Sorry, could'nt help but notice) There is not one edgy corner to the entire structure. Yet by no means can you call this a girl's ride. Well, the Micra is a boy and a charming one at that!
If the looks were enough for you, getting into the passenger seat is going to be a treat. With so much space in the back, you begin to wonder if the car just expanded stealthily.
Getting into the driving seat you realise that this turtle face has pounding legs underneath the hood. The 1.2 litre engine can produce 80 horses and 104 kgm of torque. Move over Swifts and i10s!