World's best road trip!

Atlanterhavsveien! Also known as the Atlantic Road.

This place is a series of bridges connecting two small towns in Norway. It's an 8.3 km long road, meaning hardly a 15 minute ride. And yet, you fall in love instantly with the flatness, the slopes and the curves!

Driving a convertible on a chilly spring morning can take one into another world!

Wiki
Map

Affordable (X)cstacy!

The leading German luxury car makers marched into India a few years ago with it's battalion of beasts and took away more than half the candy from Mercedes.
Here comes another brave new soldier from the BMW stable.

The lowest order link of the X series is here. This SUV has been a success in all other countries and the fate doesn't seem any different in India. It's booked for the next 3 months already.
The looks are typically new-age BMW. A perfect solution to the urban complexities in a grand fashion. Suspension is the key to a good ride and that's where BMW scores all its points on this one. The sharp hood lines convince of a low centre of gravity on this not so magnanimous car. Although, let the size not be a deception as this car has all that can be packed in a small package.
Among the 1800 CC petrol and 2000 CC diesel, the diesel one can be expected to be the better bet.
The engine is a gem and the looks are worth a few heads. Master stroke is the price tag! A BMW X1 can be owned within a price of Rs. 30 lacs.

Joy is what you make of it! And for that price tag, this is joy many can afford!

The first Bang!

Coming out of your teens, you confuse desires with a sense of competition. Everybody does! And in the race to lose your inhibitions, it is important to draw a line. Of course, the line is subjective.

Its like taking your first bike for the first ride and banging into a bus. The bruised knee or oil on your bloody palms doesn't hurt. What hurts most is to see scratches on your fairing and a smashed mug-guard!

The point is to always keep in mind - better sorry than regret!

Say what you need to say!

When you are frustrated and you know it...talk it out!
Lyrics of this beautiful song should help convincing. 

John Mayer - Say

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say...

When you talk, still not many people care. What good will it do to NOT say anything?
Talk it out. Find yourself a mirror! Right now!

Claim

Claim Chowder:

Claim Chowding is speculating and going wrong. Many do it. Many go wrong.
It is good sometimes - good to voice something your hunch tells you, defending it and then going wrong. It makes you smarter about your hunches.

Claim Clouder:
Living in a cloud of estimates and speculations. (Related to dalal street, are we?)


Claim Survivor:
Not an estimate - it is voicing of an opinion you wish was true. You may be wrong, but having an opinion is important. Voicing it is more so. The most important, working towards making it true!

I guess the last one should be the most satisfying.
'Claim chowder' is a term coined by Daring Fireball's John Gruber.

Autocar Performance Show 2010

I was yet to visit an auto-exhibit with more than wax-polishes and car scrubs on display. This time I got a chance and the visit was not only well-worth the Sunday, it came with a lot of surprises. Autocar India magazine organizes a performance show every year in the city of Bombay. As much as I am tempted to describe the beauty of the chin lines of each and every vehicle, it is intriguing to notice why Autocar holds these exhibitions in the first place. (There is a slideshow to your right for the pictures!)

Understandably, for the SMEs in the Automotive industry, there can be no better platform to showcase their abilities. But unfortunately, there are not many in our country who can pimp out your car or bike and give it a face-melting overhaul. Except for the engineering guys with their small yet effective racing car and 120 kmph-doing toy buggies, there were not many stands to spend time with when there were some staggering beauties waiting in line to be appreciated.

So then, what is the real advantage of pouring in some millions towards advertising high-end vehicles to a bunch of posers. For one, not many millionaires are true-blue enthusiasts! They buy cars for the bling and they prefer doing their shopping in a showroom. So, how many people coming to a show like that would actually be converts. Barely any!
Of course, if you have read even the index of a management book, you are going to tell me - "it's Branding dude!"
They are selling dreams! Ambitions. Almost every person coming home from such an exhibition promises him/herself to own a car that brilliant one day. That day doesn't come for most. By the time you actually deepen your pockets, you lose interest in buying vehicles. Apparently, real estate is a better deal, they say!
However, surely, the whole affair is a win-win situation for everybody. Companies get to advertise their brands, their technology, their mettle! Autocar gets more subscibers.
And we get the motivation. To love automobiles!
The biggest potential in such exhibitions still goes untapped. Our country does not have a glorious automotive history. And hence the ignorance and frugality towards vehicles. Almost all commercial big-wigs of automobiles have stepped into India. If it ever has to change, the time is now! Spreading the love for automobiles is the first step. And what better way than such exhibitions - these dreams spread out on carpets!

Blurt..

I always perceived literature as boring. It annoyed me when friends talked about the big classics they had read as I had read nothing but text-books and motoring magazines until I reached puberty! (I continue to read both even now)
Writing and writers fascinated me. A good writer is something of a magician. He can imagine things and put them in words so brightly that you feel a part of his imagination, his fictional world.
This fact always amused me. I could imagine. But materializing imagination with words - not my deal!
I know I am not a good writer. (Please do not compare with Chetan Bhagat!) In all honesty, I made this blog, not to express something. Everybody who I considered smart had one and it was free! So, I made one.

Some say, writing is a stress-buster. Today, for the first time I am typing all this only to change my mood. Not to make sense. Not to preach anything. I tried everything! Throttled on the highway, drenched my eyes, fisted the wall. Nothing works when the pain is so grave. No friend can help.
Just blurting out things that come to mind first really work.
I could do it in a diary as well. But that would be too filmy, my story is never going to be like Ghajini. Just too hard to get those 8 packs! I could type it on my desktop as well!
Although knowing that someone someday might read this whole thing is what makes you feel better!

Strength of a woman..

'There is a woman behind every successful man.' 
I am not sure of that, but there is always a woman with a happy man! 


We boys are pigs. There is no not facing it. 

I ruin your happiness with my sick jokes. I take you for granted. I cut you off when you try to talk. I have barely ever acknowledged your involvement in my life. But the truth is, you are so integral that I could manage nothing without you. (Kindly note, I am referring to more than ironing my clothes here.) 

Always stand by me. For you are the only one who loves me inspite my demons!


Saint Shaggy once sang this in one of his reggae-remedies. It sticks in your head and makes you realize who completes you....


She' ll put a smile upon your face
And take you to that higher place
So don't you underestimate...
Strength of a woman!

P.S. Shri Ram Sene murdabaad...


I hate making edits to posts, but couldn't resist mentioning - There's a secret garden she has!

The Face of Love - Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan e Eddie Vedder

The Rahat Fateh Ali Khan we have seen and heard is a novice if you hear this one out properly. The film industry has barely captured any of this potential. I may dare to say, he is as good as his uncle.

Here is a video of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan singing and Eddie Vedder strumming the chords for him watching in awe, probably wishing that he too could sing that well!
He even tries to sing along in hindi...pyaar bina jeena kaisa, iss duniya mein aaye ho toh, ek duje se pyaar karo !!



This song was originally composed by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Eddie Vedder.

CA Rube Goldberg

My friend Vivek and I have been thoroughly confused for a long time about what we wanted to do with our lives (apart from doing nothing). Every time we discussed, a new alternative came up. Vivek has so far tried out a few of them. I, on the other hand, have consistently worked on becoming a lease-worthy accountant. He had tried doing that as well but he left for good a long time ago.

As I sat waiting in my oh-so-corporatised-office for more work, I stumbled upon a man and his work. Rube Goldberg!
He inspired movies like Home Alone and SAW. His name is used as a metaphor for unnecessary over-complication in the fields of computer programming and neuroscience. He is the opposite of Occam's Razor. Here are a few of Mr. Goldberg's cartoons. They are really intriguing, intelligent and funny in their own way.

 P.S. If you still didn't get it, the stuff about Vivek was just to complicate it unnecessarily! He can be a good cartoonist himself though.

Name the monkey

He is my only avid reader. He is my fan. He is my friend. He is - MY MONKEY! (Mind your mind from making random imaginations. My Monkey actually only means a monkey. No pervert connotations when reading this blog please!) Please refer end of the post for his real name.

For such a wasteful blog with a total 3 readers, the monkey has a lot of patience to sit on the homepage 24x7. Not only does he spend countless hours fantasizing that a hot girl would once read these posts (actually it's me who does that), but he also tries to be funny with such lines:

• "Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?" - How do you know it doesn't? Ever tried fitting inside one?
  
• "If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?"- Well, maybe cos you are a monkey and monkeys don't have guns!
• "What's another word for thesaurus?" -  Szechuanorambosaurus! Wanna bet?

 

He also asks a few cheap questions which you feel compelled to answer.

• "Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?" - You don't need to save face monkey, you already are very ugly and we know it.
• "Why are cows milked from the right side?" - Same reason why you always scratch only your left arm-pit.
• "Why did God give men nipples?" - Now, really!

Then there are a few that nobody understands.

• "If you were driving at the speed of light, and you switched on the head-lights; what will happen?" -  Dude, you think you can have me by talking about science?When I drive at the speed of light, nobody is ahead of me. So I don't need the head-lights.
• "If you tried to prove Murphy's law many times, would something go wrong?" - Yes. Murphy could feel bad.
• "If you don't repair your brakes right away should you make your horn louder?" - No, you should take a cab.
  

So the moral of the story my friends is that if on a gloomy day, you happen to land on this no-sense-making-URL* and you look to the right of any post and there is this ugly swollen face snobbing away to glory asking you a ridiculous question as any of the above, don't ignore him! Don't just hit F5! Think hard.Give him an equally annoying and ridiculous reply.

(*fyi, FREE-CHANCER is a rhyme for freelancer. But the real meaning is...well, even I am figuring out yet. Maybe monkey can help!)

Name the monkey - I thought for a long time. After having been severely impressed by the many suggestions; I hereby name the monkey - CHOMULAL !

Jinhe Naaz Hai...

Mera Naam Bilqis Yakub Rasul

Mujhse Hui Bas Ek Hi Bhul

Ki Jab Dhundte The Vo Ram Ko

To Main Khadi Thi, Raah Mein

Pehle Ek Ne Puchha Na Mujhe Kuch Pata Tha

Duje Ko Mera Yehi Jawab Tha

Itno Ne Puchha Ki Mera Abb Sawal Hai Ki

Jinhe Naaz Hai Hind Par Vo Kahan The

Jinhe Naaz Hai Vo Kahan Hai?

I just stood watching as they

brought the bricks of my belief to bite dust

In the name of a God I didn't know,

for reasons I never understood.

There is no religion among animals. They have no God.

And when those animals butchered my family, I just stood watching!

Mera Naam Shriman Satyendra Dubey 

Jo Kehna Tha woh Keh Chukey

Ab Padeh Hain Rah Mein

Dil Mein Liye ek Goli

Bas Itna Kasur Ki Hamne Likha Tha

Vo Sach Jo Har Kisi Ki Zuban Tha

Par Sach Yahan Ho Jatey Hain Zahriley

Jinhe Naaz Hai Hind Par Vo Kahan The

Jinhe Naaz Hai Vo Kahan Hain?

 

Mujhe Kehte Hain Anna Manjunath

Maine Dekhi Bhatakti Ek Laash

Zamir Ki Beech Sarhak Lakhimpur Kherhi

Adarsh Phasan Jahan Naaron Mein

Aur Chor Bharey Darbaron Mein

Vahan Maut Ek lakh Ki Hai Ek Khabar Baasi

I just stood watching when millions slept hungry

When a 5-year old's modesty was filched

When my leaders sold-out

And when a soldier was back-stabbed

I just stood watching!

(Marathi)

Mazha Nau Aahe Navleen Kumar

Unnees Unnees Unnees Unnees
Unnees Baar

Looto Dehaat Kholo Bazaar
Nallasopara Aur Virar
Chheeno Zameen Hamse Hamein
Bhejo Pataal

Jinhe Naaz Hai Hind Par Vo Kahan The

Jinhe Naaz Hai Vo Kahan Hain?

I could have been a soldier or a cop

A politician or a philanthropist

Atleast a good citizen

But I am none!

Because I have just stood watching!

Am I really proud to be an Indian?

P.S. The original lyrics were written by Sahir for a Gurudutt film. This video and the above lyrics are a beautiful rendition done by Rabbi.
(Notice the use of our National Anthem in the verse!)

Dream on!

Science has never been able to explain till date how the human brain actually works. Dreams were never defined. Emotions, intelligence, sub-conscious, feelings, are all abstract to most of us. In such times conceiving a technology that intercepts others dreams may sound impractical, but for one, this film demands attention because of the sheer conviction with which 'Inception' tries to convince and confuse dreams with reality.

The film is dense. Of dreams. Dreams within dreams. To have a mass appeal, they should have used captions or something to determine which dream we are actually in. But thanks to the stupendous screenplay, there is no need for such demeaning manipulations. In fact, to an intelligent viewer, it becomes a little predictible. This being the only possible shortcoming!

Inception blends architecture, technology, emotions and neuroscience in the healthiest way possible. The most absorbing ingredient is the physics involved. The dreams are prone to theory of relativity! 10 minutes of reality means an hour in the first level of a dream. And that means 10 hours in the second level of a dream. (Yes, it does sound like a game.)

The action sequences are gravity-defying. Literally.

The caste and the entire crew support in this sci-fi drama in the best possible way.

My personal favorite character is that of Mr. Eames. He appeals with his witty dialogues. 

However, the credit for making a wonderful dream into a fascinating reality only goes to the master story-teller - Christopher Nolan. Making this film sure must have required some balls. Imagining a story line as fictional as Alice in Wonderland and yet not use any magic wands or flying brooms must not have been easy. On top of that, selling the story as an idea to the producers, the cast, everybody involved! And then making it understandable for most of us without making it look like a circus. Challenge.

But as Mr. Eames puts it as he pulls out his grenade launcher - "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

  

Here is the list of Nolan's earlier creations:

• Following (1999) - This Black and white film revolves around a writer who follows unknown people to gather perceptions about different people. He does this with a rule - Never to follow the same person again. However, things begin to change when he breaks this rule.
• Memento (2000) - A man suffering from a memory disorder trying to find out the aim of his existence. The film keeps you gripped from frame A to Z. (It should rather be Frame Z to A as the film moves backwards, hence leaving you wondering whether what happened in the last scene actually happened right now or was it just a flash back?)
• Insomnia (2002) - This film is about two CIA officers. However, I am yet to watch it. So, no comments.
• Batman Begins (2005) - Not being a batman fan kept me from watching this film. However, have seen a few parts which introduced me to the sexy coarse voice of Batman, characters like Bruce Wayne, Lucius Fox, etc.
• The Prestige (2006) - Set in 19th century England, The Prestige is a story of the rivalry of two magicians - one to steal the ultimate magic trick and the other to protect it.
• The Dark Knight (2008) - Why so Serious? The Dark Knight was the highest grosser on the box office when it released and has been surpassed only by Avatar since then. 
• Inception (2010)
• ...films to come from Christopher Nolan - Superman. Sequel to The Dark Knight!

There is no chance I am going to miss any of those films.

Advance bookings open when you wake up from this dream!

Following

Batman Begins

Dark Knight

Prestige

Memento

Motu-master iski maa agar ise...

is ki maa... aray kiski maa

is ki maa agar isey pet mein hi maar deti

to bihar mein aakal na hota

orrisa mein... orissa mein baad na hoti

maa per plex thi, per plex thi

baap complex tha, complex tha

aray radio ke jamaane ka yeh pehla multi-plex tha (multi-plex tha)

paida huwa yeh jis din paida huwa (x3)

is ke baap ne gaaon mein laddu batwaya (x2)

woh aakhri din tha jab is ke gaaon mein kisi ne kuch khaya

paida karte iski maan jo zor se chillai

le ke ashok chakar sarkaar dori dori aai

doctor ne baap ko side mein le ke jaa ke daanta (x2)

bola kahan se laey yeh gastronomical jwar-bhata (x2)

darzi ne bola inch tape apni baghal mein chaanpe (x2)

kamar to naapte hain magar ham kamra kaise naape (x2)

patthar ke paalne mein jab ye leta rota tha (x2)

sara gaaon is ke baap ke aansuon se bartan dhota tha

bartan... bartan.. bartan dhota tha...

ghusse mein is ka baap

parliment gaya

bola nirodh kyun late invent kiya...

invent invent invent kiya...

har baal ki khaal ki yeh chaal bhi kha jaey

is ke haath par jayen to maheene saal bhi kha jaey

kisi behaal ka bacha jo haal bhi haal kha jaey

be-maut marte man ka yeh malaal kha jaey

laalu ka laal kha jaey, naxal baari ki naal kha jaey

bachpan ka dhamaal kha jaey, budhaape ki shaal bhi kha jaey

haya to chodo behaya ki chaal bhi kha jaey

aur agar parosa ja sake to khayal bhi kha jaey

butter chicken... butter chicken...

laddu gopal hai, poora chopaal hai

khara to kitaar si, betha bhopal hai

baitha bhopal hai bai baitha bhopal hai

bhopal, bhopal, baitha bhopaal hai

is ki jo paad hai khaansamon ko daad hai

baap murdabad, beta muradabad hai

is ki jo paad hai khaansamon ko daad hai

baap murdabad, beta muradabad hai

baap murdabad, beta muradabad hai

butter chiken... butter chiken...

is ki jo dakaar hai, bhopu bhi bekaar hai

gurr gurr is ke pait ki, pait ki sarkaar hai

vote do bhai vote do, poora hi phorr do

is ka jo size hai, is ki maa ka pyar hai

hajam kiya is ne apne baap ka karobaar hai

baap ka karobaar, apne baap ka karobaar hai

chirken ka muse hai, par yaan varan hi lose hai

urrne na dena isey dooms-day ka fuse hai

dooms-day ka fuse hai bai dooms-day ka fuse hai doom

dooms-day ka fuse, dooms-day ka fuse hai

khachwa bhi is se faaster, motu master

gas ka plaster, motu master

hai naak band fart kar, motu master

chor baant baant kar, motu master

yeh motu master hai total disaster

total disaster hai motu master

motu master chal daaru paas kar

chup be, bastard...!

Happy day for Tesla

The world has been going through financial worries for almost 2 years now. In the recent past, almost as many as 35 companies either postponed or cancelled their IPOs for the fear of not finding enough investors. But being so different from the rest of Wall Street is what gives Tesla Motors Inc. it's poise to be the first American automobile company to raise an IPO after 54 years.

True story.

The previous company to do it was Ford Motors in 1956.

That's a big name to draw parallels with. On top of that, Tesla has never ever booked a profit. Whereas Ford has been a standard for the industry for a century.

About Tesla

Evidently, the company borrows it's name from the great scientist - arguably the inventor of electricity - Nikola Tesla. It does so for a very good reason. Many companies have been attempting at providing carbon free cars with Toyota's Prius leading the path. Different engineers have reached different options - hydrogen, ethanol, electricity, etc. One guy called Stan Meyer even developed a car that works on water! Truly amazing engineers. However, Tesla is the only company till date to have successfully created a road-worthy car and it works purely on electricity. It has no exhaust pipe. The car is as silent as a snail but swift as a rattle snake. It's not worth picturing a Maini Reva when I say electric car. Tesla Roadster (picture given) is way ahead of that.

• Power - 288 horse power
• Torque - All the power is available at almost all levels with a few variations. From 0 to 14000 rpm. 
• Acceleration - 0 to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds. (Who would believe that of a non-petrol engine?)
• Top Speed - 125 mph (Electronically limited - which I assume is a polite way of saying, "the engine is capable of much more, but your State Traffic Law wont permit anyway!")
• Battery Life - 7 years or 100,000 miles
• Price - Base model $ 101,500/-   Sport Model $ 120,000/-

Ford was led by men of iconic stature. The brain child of Henry Ford and was later headed by Lee Iacocca. He was later fired from Ford. Lee Iacocca then presided over the Chrylser board and made the company a fierce competition for Ford itself. The story of Tesla is similar.

Tesla's is based in Palo Alto, California (the universe where ideas form the ether and college drop-outs become the stars) and although founded by Martin Eberhard & Elon Musk together, it is currently headed by Elon as the CEO.

Elon Musk is the same guy who founded X.Com which later became PayPal Inc. and is now a part of eBay.

Martin and Elon had a fall out and eventually Martin had to quit. Martin even filed a suit against Elon alleging that he was virtually made to leave. Supposedly, one of the clauses of the suit contains that Elon didn't let Martin have the first Roadster that rolled out of the factories.

The founders have not been the only people excited about driving a complete car that doesn't pollute. Media friendly celebs like Brad Pitt and George Clooney drive Roadsters. (Guess the Ocean's Eleven couldn't steal any gas.)

The car is a masterpiece. However, one can't help but notice that the car is never noticed! The price one pays for the car is definitely one major parameter in this regard. Not many can afford a $ 100,000 car. Even if they can, there are better options! The emission front doesn't persuade enough to indulge in an expensive car like the Roadster.

The company has recently launched another vehicle with the name Model S. Deliveries may begin in 2012 and the car currently can be booked for approximately $ 50,000/-.

What remains to be seen is whether the Model S can be our generation's Ford T ?

Monsoon Sings

Everybody loves music. Yet, most of us are not so selective about our playlists. We just let any song shuffle itself to the foreground.

Here are a few songs that I haven't heard in a long while. Good songs!

(I have chosen to keep only Hindi songs in this list. For whatever you say, they make you feel more earthy.) 

• Sab Bhula Kay - Call (Jilawatan)
• Ab Kay Saawan - Shubha Mudgal
• Duur - Strings (Try the Reprise version. Check out Faizal's - the lead vocalist- son at the beginning. )
• Bulla Ki Jaaana - Rabbi Shergill
• Shaam Tanha - Agnee
• Mast Kalandar - Abida Parveen
• Dhoom Pichuk Dhoom - Euphoria
• Sabse Peeche Hum Khade - Silk Route
• ....and if you have time for one more song, Sutta - Zeest!

Monsoon works

It's raining outside. I am stuck in the midst of a crowd of ambitious, well-dressed, high-class diplomatic, orthodox and egoistic people. In short, I am sitting in an office. No offense! I just don't like working the conventional way.  
All I am saying is I wish I could call for a sick leave and get out of here.
Sit at home, look at the rains through my window-pane!

But when you work in the capital markets, getting a leave is as difficult as scratching your groin wearing a scuba diving suit. Sitting in an air conditioned office, using little bottles of sanitizers doesn't leave much scope for the rain bacteria to affect you. So here is a way you can get some awesome cold, ravishing fever and a few breath-taking sneezes:-

1. Firstly get out of your formals. 
2. Next go out without an umbrella. Get soaked. Don't care about your cell-phone. Why do we need one anyway?
3. Then, gather all your friends for a game a of street soccer.
4. As you are on it, slide! Slide in the mud. Even when the ball is not around you. Just slide! It's fun. You must have atleast 13 bruises when you return.
5. After you are totally drenched and dirty, your shoes (that were initially white) are now brown, your shorts have torn at certain compromising areas, it is now time to go hog VADA-PAV. Don't bother with the hygiene. Vada pavs are extremely healthy. Trust me!

For whom the paper rolls!

Very soon, a time will come when nobody will prefer hard cover books. If Google, Scribd, Amazon (and the biggest evil of all - Adobe) keep publicizing e-books (and eating the pie out of the poor author's mouth), it won't be long before paper-back books will be a thing of the past.
With books out of the question, there will be no real use of paper left in this world. Except for one!
"Bathroom Tissue" (read: ass wiping paper).
As a proud Indian, you may never have thought about this, but Toilet Paper manufacturing is a major business. Amidst all the Eurozone debt-crisis, what eased the tension a little were the import figures of toilet paper!
An average American uses over 100 rolls every year. (They definitely like their shit!) The cost of maintaining delicate American buttocks is more than the cost of driving a Hummer. The thing is - Americans don't settle for the bathroom tissue made out of re-cycled paper. They need softer tissues which have to be made by chopping down trees. Each year 27,000 trees are required to suffice this need of white human backyard.
I don't have anything against Americans alone. There are others involved too. China manufactures (yes, China doesn't leave even this!) and exports the tissues to Americans and the rest of the world.
The question is whether the world will ever be willing to move on from this idea and adopt other techniques for personal hygiene. The famous singer Sheryl Crow recently voiced her opinion saying that one should use CLOTH instead of paper tissues. (for - you know what!) Of course, what other use do we have of clothes anyway! Ask her to use silk and then we'll talk.
There are a few who have adopted this and are quite happy with the results. One such dedicated cloth user April Horton says - "Using cloth toilet paper is not only an economical choice but once you try it I swear you'll never go back!" 
I bet she used Satin!
However, one can safely say that America has single-buttockly distorted the hygiene choices people make. I sincerely hope, very soon, we Indians make a mark in this field and show the world the way to the farms. If nothing else, the dampen way of hygiene will put the melting north-pole to some clean use.

P.S. - With reference to the previous post - This is Chuck Norris' toilet paper.

Cowboy from Hell ...

Carlos Ray a.k.a. Chuck Norris is an American Martial Artist and Actor. 

But more importantly he is the man!

Here are some facts about Chuck Norris - 

1. Since 1940, when Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick deaths have increased by 13000 percent.

2. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. 

3. Chuck Norris doesn't need to celebrate his birthday. Because he was born between Sunday and Monday.

4. Chuck Norris once went sky diving. He promised he would never do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough

5. A hide tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is God pissing in his pants. 

Now for some of Chuck Norris' abilities - 

1. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. 

2. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But  nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

3. Chuck Norris doesn't day dream. He is too busy giving people nightmares. 

4. Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

Secrets about Chuck Norris -

1. The first rule about Chuck Norris is - You don't talk about Chuck Norris.

2.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. 

JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

3.  Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

To find out more about Chuck Norris, just type "GOOGLE CHUCK NORRIS" in the Google search box.

Tip of the day - Punch me!

Most of us are taught for years that anger is not good. It is not right to vent out your frustration on someone else. (unless you are living in a cave and feel like landing your plane in the buildings of USA).

Now, the basic idea behind 'anger management' is to teach a person to control his temper. Not to get angry when a mosquito is buzzing around your ear. Zooooo-zoooooo! I mean the mosquito's noise..not the Vodafone ad!

But I don't really believe it works that way. So what else can you do to get rid of your anger. I say PUNCH SOMEONE!

I mean, think about it! How liberating would it feel to punch someone right in the face every time you are angry! Awesome, right? Someone makes fun of you in front of the guy/girl you are trying to hit on - Dishum. You get KT's in all subjects - Dishum.You have just graduated and are sitting at home watching football and your mom sends you to buy vegetables for her - Dishum. Actually, here the punch would be on your face if you still sit there watching the game. Nevertheless, the point is, it is good to have somebody to punch!
So all you gentle and subtle people may gladly punch me as and when you feel angry and I would return the favor more often than not. A more convenient option - find yourselves a punch mate.
I myself am looking for one.

Wanted a beautiful fat, red, fluffy nose 

for a giant wrist with long fingers.

Caste no bar. Divorced, no issues.

If anybody interested, please write back.

Nissan Micra

Seriously, what is with the hype surrounding the upcoming Nissan Micra? Why are all auto journos recommending this particular car in the midst of so many acclaimed small segment vehicles already available? And why are people actually postponing buying their first car only for a car which still has 1 month to open bookings? There definitely have to be more than one reasons.
Of course, to begin with, even though Nissan may not be a household name in India, the quality of product is an undebatable issue - Nissan is from Japan!!!
The car definitely has it unnatural charms. No doubt about that! The eyes bulge out, the roofline slants just at the right angle and not one part looks as if inspired from something else. Except the Mini Cooperish rear. (Sorry, could'nt help but notice) There is not one edgy corner to the entire structure. Yet by no means can you call this a girl's ride. Well, the Micra is a boy and a charming one at that!
If the looks were enough for you, getting into the passenger seat is going to be a treat. With so much space in the back, you begin to wonder if the car just expanded stealthily.
Getting into the driving seat you realise that this turtle face has pounding legs underneath the hood. The 1.2 litre engine can produce 80 horses and 104 kgm of torque. Move over Swifts and i10s!